In Honor of Bisexuality Visibility Day: A Reflection on Sexuality

We are all, to some degree, products of the cultural narratives we’re born into.

This internal struggle makes me think about how deeply societal norms shape our understanding of sexuality. Growing up, I was surrounded by heteronormativity – the idea that being straight is the default, the norm. It’s no wonder that I spent years trying to mold myself into that expectation, even if it didn’t quite fit. I wonder: if we all grew up in a world without those expectations, where no sexuality was “normal” or “preferred,” would I have explored my feelings towards women earlier? Would I have questioned my attraction to men more? It’s hard to say, but I can’t help but think that we are all, to some degree, products of the cultural narratives we’re born into.

Another layer to this reflection is how we view bisexuality itself. Bisexuality can feel like an invisible identity, often misunderstood or dismissed both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community. There’s this stereotype that bisexuality is a “phase,” or that people like me are simply confused. But why is it so hard to accept that attraction can exist on multiple planes, and that it doesn’t have to fit into a binary of straight or gay? Perhaps part of the issue is that we still view sexuality as something fixed and rigid when it’s actually far more dynamic and multifaceted. Sexuality is not just about who we love or desire, but how we see ourselves, how we connect with others, and how we move through the world.

How much of my hesitation to fully embrace my attraction to women stems from fear – fear of being judged, of not being accepted, or simply of stepping into the unknown?

I’ve also been thinking about the idea of authenticity and how closely tied it is to sexuality. For a long time, I felt like I had to be what others wanted me to be. I didn’t question it; I simply followed the script that was laid out for me. It took years of unlearning and introspection to start shedding those layers of expectation and to embrace the parts of myself that didn’t fit into the narrative I had been given. But even now, I still feel the weight of those old pressures. How much of my attraction to men is genuine, and how much of it is a response to a lifetime of conditioning? How much of my hesitation to fully embrace my attraction to women stems from fear – fear of being judged, of not being accepted, or simply of stepping into the unknown?

If there’s one thing I’ve come to realize, it’s that sexuality is deeply personal. It’s not just about labels or categories; it’s about how we navigate our own desires, identities, and relationships. And that journey looks different for everyone. For me, coming out as bisexual wasn’t a one-time event. It’s something I’m still doing, every day, with every new realization and every moment of self-acceptance. I don’t have all the answers, and I’m okay with that. What matters most is that I’m allowing myself the space to explore and evolve, without feeling the need to fit into someone else’s box.

Whether you identify as bi, gay, straight, or anything in between, we all deserve the freedom to discover who we truly are, without the constraints of societal norms.

On this Bisexual Visibility Day, I celebrate the beauty of this journey – not just mine, but everyone’s. Whether you identify as bi, gay, straight, or anything in between, we all deserve the freedom to discover who we truly are, without the constraints of societal norms. Sexuality, like life, is messy, complicated, and ever-changing. And that’s what makes it beautiful. Today, I’m taking a moment to appreciate my place on this continuum, wherever it may lead, and to honor the bravery it takes to embrace all of who we are.

With love and acceptance,

Emilia Joensalo

The Founder of HerEmpowr